i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
