shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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