just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
