Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Randomize
