ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
