they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
