You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
