I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
