I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
