If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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