im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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