Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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