She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
