He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
