Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I need moral support for this bender
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
