is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
