I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
