I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
