Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
This toilet bowl is my home.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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