I am full of burrito and curiosity
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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