I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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