so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
