Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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