do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
