Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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