you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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