It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
