LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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