Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize