We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
