i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
