In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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