He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
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I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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