I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
