Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize