Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
