ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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