He uses pillows to masturbate.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
