i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
