she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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