And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
