just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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