they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
