the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Randomize
