As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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