party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize