I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
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