that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
