woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
