I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
