This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize