lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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