Grow some girl-balls and come out already
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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