You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
