You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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