All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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