doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
