absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
