would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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