I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
