My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
